Sakura and the Disney Cruise to Antarctica
by Girl in My Mirror Is Crying
Summary: Sakura wins a fabulous prize at a rally.
1. Chapter 1

It was May 6th, 2002 in Konoha and it was 102 outside, which was a striking contrast because four days ago, it was 31 outside. The temperature outside fluctuated more than Oprah's weight in 1991. Sakura was outside in front of her high school wearing just a thong and her bare breasts that you couldn't even find with a telescope were hanging out. Her sweat had drenched her shitty pink hair and her body was so wet with it that you could fill up a gallon jug with it. It was pretty gross to look at her, but not as gross as some of the pink hairs that were poking out of her thong. They did not look sexy, and neither did the orange cowboy boots she had on that looked like something Sophia Petrillo from the Golden Girls wore when she went square dancing with a man who didn't believe that you could catch the flu from not washing your pussy enough.

"Look, nigga, I'm hot," said 18-year-old Sakura as she talked to Ino who was wearing a skirt without panties and a halter top. "I've looked over the campus for seven minutes and not one of the vending machines sells beer. This school is so fucking outdated, much like that time we went to your aunt Kukimoshitsu and she still used a well to get water. Like, it's 2002, nigga. Use a faucet. It's not 1848, you know."

"Look, cunt, don't insult my aunt!" said Ino as she slapped Sakura's titty. Sakura didn't even flinch since she had no mammary glands. Ino loved spiced dumplings with cajun. It was part of being a modern girl from North Dakota who was now living in Japan.

All the sudden, a large vehicle starting blaring "Rollout" by Ludacris and Sakura turned around.

"Here come my niggas now in the black Hummer stuntin'," said Sakura as she saw that it was Sasuke driving a black Hummer H2. He opened the door and came out wearing a speedo and a tank top. He had an extremely large bulge in his speedo and it looked like he had a turnip poking out. Sakura had huge eyes as she saw her boyfriend in the speedo and she laughed and hugged him, her nonexist titties rubbing against him. He pushed her down and she laughed at the sexy abuse.

"Look, I got something fun to tell you niggas," said Sasuke as he pulled his speedo down and flashed his asshole at everyone before farting. "They are having a rally at this gas a few miles north and they are distributing prizes.

All the sudden, "My Heart Will Go On" was playing and a blue Saturn Ion appeared. It was Naruto and he was wearing an orange speedo and a scarf that looked like something Michael Jordan found outside of a Costco in St. Louis. Man, did he look so fucking stupid that it made Sakura want to vomit more because his nipples weren't even covered up. They looked like flesh-colored grapes and the were pouring sweat everywhere. Sakura wanted to have her eyes stapled before she wanted to see this nigga's nipples again. But they were too hilarious to ignore so she kept looking at them.

"Naruto!" said Ino as she started to do the shimmy and kissed her boyfriend. Why Ino was with Naruto was beyond the scope of anyone's imagination, but hey, there was no accounting for taste, but Naruto was an individual who thought Cream O' Wheat was too spicy to eat.

"My ho!" said Naruto as he began to twerk while wearing the speedo. He farted a little and then Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Naruto, lemme teach you how to fart," said Sasuke as he slapped both butt cheeks and released a fart of about 92 decibels. He was really proud of himself and Ino started to laugh at the stench.

An "awhooga!" sound was made and a 1923 Lincoln Model L appeared. It was Shikamaru and that pineapple head Idiot had gotten spinners on his 79 year old car that belonged to a woman who used to protest in women's suffrage in Canada and would toss off her hat to anyone who gave her a Budweiser.

Shikamaru was wearing a pair of fishnet stockings and very short running shorts and a training bra and had lip gloss on.

"Sorry I'm late," said Shikamaru as he pulled out his wallet and threw a condom at Sasuke. "This is what you get for not telling my mother about my women's shoe collection."

"Thanks, fruity," said Sasuke as he put it in his pocket and wiggled his eyebrows at Sakura. "Look, nigga, I guess we have to wait for Ch-"

Sure enough, there was Chouji in his giant Volvo crew cab truck that was used as an 18 wheeler. He had "Oops! I Did it Again" playing as he was driving. He got out and belched as soon as he got out.

"Look, guys, I arrived," said Shikamaru as he had on a bathrobe. "I got some potato chips so we can have some fun." He brought his handy log and put it on the ground and put some chips on it and said, "Futon!" and sucked them up like a vacuum. He belched so loud that it knocked Shikamaru over and Chouji laughed with satisfaction.

"Fatty, gimme that bag," said Naruto as he approached Chouji and snatched the Pringles. He put seven on a log and did a fruity hand motion and said, "Anal Futon!" And a suction came outta his ass and the chips flew to the asshole part of his speedo. He then did the fart Jutsu and all the pringles were released at 200 miles per hour, smashing the side mirror or Shikamaru's Lincoln.

"Baka!" screamed Sakura as she did a sexy uppercut and launched Naruto into the air, his farting as he did so and his speedo came off as he was flying, mooning everyone in the city. There were two twinkles in the sky: one for him, and another for his speedo.

Ino ran over to Sakura and did a roundhouse kick.

"Nigga, that's my boyfriend!" she screamed and then laughed when Sakura slapped her across the face. They fought for about 23 seconds and then Naruto returned, completely nude. No one bothered to look at his nasty pubic hairs and resumed their conversation.

"Yeah, so we're going to the rally, okay?" said Sasuke. "Sakura, get in my car." He walked over to the Hummer and turned on "Without You" by Mariah Carey. In about 8 minutes, they arrived to the rally. It was at a Toyota dealership and the guy who was hosting it was wearing a blue bikini and had a huge outline for his balls. That's all he was wearing. A blue bikini.

 _ **"ARE YOU NIGGAS READY TO DEMONSTRATE THAT THE HOKAGE IS A LOSER?**_!" he shouted as he jumped out, his testicles moving a lot. The guy wearing the blue bikini was Kotetsu.

"HELL YEAH!" screamed the audience. They talked for about 48 minutes why the Hokage was a fucking loser and then it was time to distribute the prizes.

"YEAH, YOU SEXY HO IN THE THONG ON AND NO TITTIES AND BRA!" shouted Kotetsu as his his penis bulge began to move. "CATCH THIS!"

Sakura caught an envelope and there was a voucher inside.

"A Disney Cruise to Antarctica?" she said in astonishment. "KISS MY ASS, NIGGAS!" she said as he punched everyone out of the way and went home screaming with delight.


	2. Chapter 2

"KISS MY ASS, NIGGAS!" shouted Sakura as she punched out about twenty-one people, but they weren't dead. This experience was practically identical to the time Justin Timberlake was allowed to join the Mickey Mouse club and he knocked out about seven people by using a portable light saber toy he had since he was still obsessed with Star Wars. Sasuke followed Sakura and he said,

"Where are you going?"

"I got a voucher for a Disney Cruise to Antarctica, nigga!" she shouted as she ran as fast as she could to Sasuke's Hummer. "Now drive like you stole this!"

Sasuke appeared, his bulge dancing in his speedo more than the way an ass with 20 lbs of cellulitis flaps when you twerk it to the worst song to ever exist: Turn It Up. "Get in the car, my little girl," he said as he rubbed his nose against Sakura's cowboy boot. Man, who in her right mind would select such a hideous orange for cowboy boots? They looked like something even a homeless person freezing their ass off in Siberia would reject. But apparently, Sakura enjoyed wearing and no one gave a crap how happy she felt when wearing them.

Sasuke drove them home and he said, "So what exactly does your voucher say?"

"It doesn't say anything because it's an inanimate object, nigga," said Sakura with an annoying smile.

"You're being a smartass and I hate that. You're still annoying, by the way," said Sasuke with a proud smirk on his face, kinda like the face you would see when Dr. Oz found something that would make you high and could also cure bad breathe.

"The last time you said I was still annoying was after the time I gave you that heartfelt speech," said Sakura. "Don't you remember? I was crying and you could hear that shitty Japanese music play in the background. I was thinking in my mind that it was being played by a four year old who had never before heard a sound in his life."

"Yeah, I remember that shitty Japanese music, too," said Sasuke as he farted really loudly while wearing his speedo. "I was like, why is this playing out of nowhere?"

"Did it make you feel sexy deep inside your crusty ass?" asked Sakura as she belched after she finished drinking her water bottle she had in her purse.

"IT MADE ME FART, NIGGA!" yelled Sasuke in the sexiest possible way. Man, when he yelled, you could've sworn that an angelic choir was playing the bongos in the background.

"ME, TOO!" agreed Sakura as she slapped Sasuke across the face. He laughed at her and then punched her in the face and she started laughing at this. She slammed his head against the driving wheel and then he grabbed her hair and ripped out enough hair to leave about a square inch bald on Sakura's head. She giggled and then got an electric razor and shaved his armpit hairs and rolled them up into her paper that she used to roll up joints and smoked it with some of her eggplant marijuana leaves.

"But seriously, though, what is written on the paper?" asked Sasuke as he kept laughing so loud.

"It says, 'Experience extravagant luxury like no other as you sail in our three week cruise to Antarctica. Explore the melting glaciers and be able to have fun games on deck while it is -40 C outside and you are wearing a two-piece swimsuit. We advise that you bring very heavy clothes. Meet the characters from your favorite Disney movies and participate in activities for lovely prizes. The ship sets sail on May 10th and will return on June 1st." Sakura slowly moved the paper away from her and said,

"HELL YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS! I'M GOING TO ANTARCTICA!"

"Just you? How many people can go?" said Sasuke.

"It says here that a maximum of four people can go. I was thinking we should invite Ino and..." she sighed as she was about to say the last part. "Naruto."

"Oh, boy. But yeah, we should invite them," said Sasuke. "As long as you and I can share a room, that is all that matters."

"I'm so excited, pimp nigga!" said Sakura as she kissed him on the lips as he kept driving. "I'm gonna miss school for three weeks, and I'll probably end up failing. But guess what! The school can kiss my asshole!"

The two of them exchanged a high-five and they finally got home. Sakura put on tennis shoes and a bra but still was wearing her pink thong. She got out her phone and called up Ino.

"Hey, skank, bring yourself and Naruto over here, we gotta talk," said Sakura as she hung up immediately. She waited and they arrived in about four minutes. "I'm glad you could arrive so fast."

"What's going on, Sakura?" asked Naruto as he was still wearing his orange speedo.

"Well, look!" she said as she showed them the voucher. "It's a Disney Cruise to Antarctica and you two are coming with me and Sasuke!"

"Awesome!" said Naruto. "I've always wanted to go to Antarctica and look at the penguins!"

"Me, too!" said Ino as she and Naruto began to kiss passionately.

"It leaves at 8 a.m on May 10, so you better pack your stuff and get some warm clothes," advised Sakura.

"Good, I'll be able to wear my orange jammers," said Naruto.

"I meant, a heavy parka," said Sakura.

"You know that we are going to the equator to get there, so we will have warm weather for a while," said Ino. "I'm going to find a good bikini and a nice parka."

"Awesome!" said Sakura as she punched Naruto in the face.

"THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!" shouted Ino. The two fo them left and Sakura turned to Sasuke.

"Are you excited about this trip, Sasuke?"

"It seems too good to be true, but yeah, I like the idea of going somewhere that is as cold as my heart."


	3. Chapter 3

It was finally the day to get on the cruise ship. Sakura and Ino had gone shopping for some new bikini's and Sasuke and Naruto got some new speedos. At the same time, they got some really warm clothes; for example, Sakura decided to by a negligee and some stockings to keep herself a bit warmer at night. Ino got some footy pajamas that was as likely to get her laid as wearing a hazmat suit, although technically the pj's were so hideous that a hazmat suit may actually be sexier on her. Although truth be told, it was kind of hard to find anything sexy on her.

Naruto got a black bikini with an orange stripe on it and he got some knee-high socks to wear with some black flip flops. He got an orange parka and a dolphin key-chain and some really retarded green pants that didn't match the parka at all. Sasuke got a dark purple g-string and some yellow rain boots, and he got a blue and grey The North Face jacket and he got some fingerless gloves as well as a snowcap. This nigga was gonna look sensational! All of them were except Naruto because he was a fucking weirdo who stills believes that Sasuke's penis is fake despite seeing it more than once. His ding-a-ling was the for-real deal.

"We're going to Antarctica!" screamed Sakura as they were at the docks in Tokyo. They had to take Sasuke's Hummer to his aunt Patricia Uchiha who was still alive. She was a sweet woman, but man, did this woman lose about 41 screws in her head. She still waters her ferns that shriveled up and died in 1992 and plays Mos Def when she's chopping her onions for a fried pupu platter. But she said that she would be more than happy to watch Sasuke's gorgeous Hummer as long as he promised to get her some cocaine when he returned since Sasuke had a lot of connections.

"It's so nice to see you guys," said Hinata as she was standing next to her boyfriend, Chouji. Akamichi Daniel Chouji! What was he doing there!? They were standing next to Hinata's beautiful Mercedes S600 with bulletproof glass and she snickered as she turned to them.

"Chouji! I didn't know that you were gonna come here!" said Naruto as he looked at the fat ninja and slapped his back. Naruto regretted this because in response to the slap, he farted so loudly, much like the time he farted when he didn't know the answer to his questions on his linear algebra test with Kakashi.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't tell you that Hinata's dad is a chief on here and he got us two vouchers!" He extended his chubby hand and waved the tickets to Naruto and Sasuke farted in annoyance. Hinata giggled when a swarm of yellow jackets flew to Sasuke's asshole and then he farted again, killing all of the flying insects. Sakura coughed at the smell and said,

"Well, that's awesome! Now I got five people to annoy!" She took out her iPod and began listening to "Overprotected" by Britney Spears. Sasuke then said,

"Let's hurry up and board the ship so I can find a bathroom. I need to take a piss, nigga."

"Okay, let's hurry already!" said Hinata as she pushed Sakura out of the way and she and Chouji began going to the platform. She shoved the ticket into the man's face and they began to ninja run into their rooms as they awaited their luggage.

The other four ninja ran to the guy and Sakura said,

"I won this ticket at the rally in Konoha! I was wearing only a thong and orange cowboy boots!"

"Who cares? Board the boat, bitches!" he said and he slapped Ino on the ass as she ran in and she giggled. Naruto was mad at this but he didn't want to kill this guy because he could possibly have some better contribution to society one day.

They found their room; it was in second class and Sakura gasped when she saw what they had in there.

"HOLY SHIT, THEY HAVE A FUCKING WATER BED WITH OCTOPUS IN IT!" she said as she pointed to the bed. It was transparent and there were about six live octopus in it. She got on the bed and the octopus swam into a corner in fear. This was so sexy. The furniture looked like something that would be featured in The Little Mermaid if it took place in a pond in Detroit. Sakura turned on the channel and she flipped through the channel.

"11 CHANNELS OF PORN! HOLY SHIT!" shouted Sasuke. The TV had a total of 15 channels and the other four were Cartoon Network, two Anime channels, and a food channel.

Sasuke approached Sakura and he began to kiss her. They fell asleep on the waterbed and Sakura sighed in comfort. There was a knock on the door and it was Naruto, of course.

"Nigga, why are you asleep! Let's get on the deck and look at the ocean!"

"Sweet, lemme put on my bikini!" said Sakura as she fished out her yellow bikini.

"I'll put my g-string on," said Sasuke as he found the dark purple flimsy item. He took off his underwear and put it on and slid his shorts back on and grabbed a towel. They saw that Naruto was already wearing his bikini and Sakura began to laugh.

"Seriously, Naruto? You got a bikini?"

"I think it feels nice!" he said in defense. Ino came out and she was wearing a tye-dye bikini and had a lei on. "You look nice babe," he said as he kissed her.

"So do you, cheese hair," she said as she spanked his asshole. Sakura just rolled her eyes.

Soon, there was Hinata, wearing a light blue thong and Chouji was wearing one of those stripped swimsuits men wore in the 1910s. It still made his belly look huge, but that was beside the point. They soon made their way to the deck and Sasuke farted.


	4. Chapter 4

The gang suddenly got to the deck of the sexy ship and all the suddenly, Naruto farted while wearing his bikini. Sasuke was still wearing his shorts and had his towel and said, "I guess I'll take off these shorts now."

took off his black shorts and bent over while wearing his g-string underneath, his nuts pushing the fabric of his g-string more than Honey Boo Boo's mom filled out a bra. It was disgusting that someone with such a pale and hairy ass would have the audacity to wear a g-string in public, but Sasuke didn't care. It wasn't illegal for him to wear something that left less to the imagination than the time Kim Kardashian lost her earring in the ocean and had to ask Bill O'Reilly for money to pay her new Maserati off. Sasuke farted in his g-string, pulling the string back so everyone could see his asshole and so that the stench would spread faster. He was very proud of himself and said,

"Kiss my shithole, bitches!"

"Sasuke! You're so nasty!" said Sakura as she kissed his asshole for him. All the sudden, Donald Duck appeared and started to make his weird quacking sound.

"GET LOST, MOTHERFUCKER!" screamed Hinata as she used a jutsu and sent Donald to the kitchen. She wanted this nigga as far away as possible from her and she didn't want any Disney characters bothering her right now.

All the sudden, the speakers of the ship started playing and "Oochie Wally" by Nas was playing. What kind of Disney Cruise played this song? It was like playing Beethoven or some 18th century classical music at a ghetto party. In response to the dirty rap song, a lot of big-bootied girl appears and started shaking their asses to the song. This was beyond weird for Disney, and then a guy wearing a green speedo appeared. He had a fairly nice-sized bulge, but the guy next to him was wearing a black speedo with a few small teal stripes on it.

"Hi! Do you guys think this cruise is a bit odd?" asked the male as he scratched his testicles right in front of them.

Sakura noticed him scratching, so she rubbed the outline of her wet vagina and said, "Yeah, now that I think about it, yeah, it is a bit odd. I didn't even know that they had cruise ships to Antarctica." The guy all of the sudden and said, "Hi, nigga, my name is Tachibana Makoto and this is my boyfriend."

"Yamazaki Sousuke," said the other in the speedo. His outline of his bulge was noticeably larger than Makoto's and was even a bit larger than that nigga who threw Sakura the envelope. She was curious to know how big Sousuke's penis was. Sousuke. Sasuke. They sounded so similar, and she was wondering who was hotter! "It's...pleasant to be here. It would be a lot better if they had different music playing in the background."'

"Yeah, I like it here a lot, nigga, but I like the music just find," commented Naruto as he began to twerk while wearing his bikini. He farted and said, "Let's get in the pool!" He did a cannon ball and as soon as he hit the water, a gargantuan bubble came out of his ass. Makoto just nervously chuckled but Sousuke just sighed with annoyance. This nigga was gonna stress himself to death if he resumed like this.

"Cheer up, Sousuke," said Makoto as he kissed the other on the cheek. "I promise I will make you feel better when we get back to the cabin." Sousuke immediately perked up when he heard what his boyfriend said.

Sakura loved the way the song was playing and did a handstand while wearing her yellow bikini and started dancing like she was going to win a contest in Minneapolis. She loved the way her titties bounced (as if she had any in the first place) and said, "

"Look, Sasuke-kun! Look at me, nigga!"

Immediately, Sasuke and Sousuke both looked at her and they both looked at each other.

"Hey, the name is Sousuke, nigga," said Sousuke.

"My name is Sasuke," said Sasuke. "She didn't mispronounce your name or anything, pimp."

"Oh, okay, nigga," said Sousuke as he started walking to the pool. You could see the way the fabric hugged his asscheeks and his asscrack really well and it was definitely an S+, an S being a rank above an A. He dived into the pool, his body professionally entering the water like the swimmer he was and there was not much splash and no embarrassing jet of bubbles!

"I like his attitude," said Chouji as he farted. Sasuke appeared to the edge of the water and said,

"Hey, Sakura, check out this!" He leaned forward and you could see his purple fabric bulge in between his thighs. His nuts were so gross looking while Sousuke on the other hand had very nice looking ones. Sasuke jumped into the water and farted so loudly a two foot splash of water appeared from his ass!

The song "Big Pimping" by Jay-Z started playing.

"OH, SHIT! I LOVE THIS NIGGA'S SONG!" screamed Ino as she started doing the macarena.

"I KNOW, RIGHT, NIGGA!" Screamed Sakura. "THEY WERE ON A FUCKING BOAT IN THE MUSIC VIDEO!"

This continued on for about ten more minutes.


	5. Chapter 5

The music in the background kept playing like something you would hear from a ghetto school reunion in Trenton, NJ. Sakura was doing all she could to be the center of attention while wearing her yellow bikini and it was working fairly well. All the sudden, Sousuke approached Sakura and said,

"Hey, do you think you could tone it down a little?"

Sakura immediately gasped as she saw the dude who was talking to. If only he weren't gay, but she didn't know that sure. He could've been bisexual and that he was just now hanging out with another dude who happened to be his friend. She smiled to him and said,

"Okay, boy. Do you want a little bit of this action, have all the people watching you?"

"Not really," said Sousuke as he looked at her. "But while I'm at it..." Sousuke began to do a phenomenal pop, lock, and drop it while shaking his bubble ass in the speedo. Sakura was quite amazed at how this boy was dancing and honestly wish Sasuke could dance like that, but she knew he had as much talent as a kid in a commercial for cereal for kids who lived in Detroit. Sousuke was twerking like you would not believe and Sakura wanted to touch his ass so badly, but then Makoto approached.

"Nigga, I think we should go get in the pool and leave this little woman alone."

"I'm fine, really!" said Sakura as he kept watching them even though Sousuke stopped twerking. Sakura frowned with disappointment and she said to Sasuke, "Come over here and start dancing!"

Sasuke appeared, still wearing his dark purple g-string and said, "Do I really have to?"

Sakura gasped and just shook her head at this nigga. She was getting really upset at him and she said, "Yeah, nigga, you gotta show Sousuke how well you can dance!"

Sasuke sighed. He knew that this was not gonna end well, but he decided to dance anyways. And his assumptions were so correct. Whenever Sasuke moved his hips, you could've sworn that you heard the Titanic striking the iceberg in the moving and it left the immediate area a feeling of cold. What the hell was going on with? Also, his body was so irregular when it was twerking! It was like you were watching a fish out of water trying to get back into the pond you pulled it out of, but then all the sudden, the same fish that was struggling to get pack into the water was then having a seizure.

Everyone who was there at the pool stopped and looking at this fruity nigga in the G-string.

"Sasuke...please stop!" commanded Sakura as she turned red with embarrassment. He immediately stopped and turned to her.

"Are you gonna ask me to do this ever again?" he asked as he farted.

"Not in public," she said. "But you did give me a good laugh, though."

Sasuke's fruity ass pulled the string of his g-string back and farted in public. He was glad of what he did and then when he turned around, there was Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse smacked Sasuke upside the head and that pissed this nigga off.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY HAIR!" shouted Sasuke as he grabbed Mickey Mouse and then threw him into the pool. Sasuke then laughed and then punched Chouji in the face. Chouji then pulled Sasuke's g-string off and his nasty body was exposed. He was blushing like crazy and then pulled it back up, embarrassed and then went over to the bathroom to take shit. He giggled and pulled down his g-string, showing the crystal surface of the water his anus and strained as his food matter slid out of his anus. He went and washed his hands with some sexy soap and then turned around and farted really loudly as he looked into the mirror. He was so awesome for having such amazing hair, but he didn't want it to disappear, so he took some hair spray out of his bag he had on his waist and fixed it up.

Makoto went into the bathroom and he looked at Sasuke.

"Look, nigga," said Makoto in a polite tone, although it was kinda hard to be polite when you call someone "nigga", but he somehow made it work. "Your girlfriend is eyeing my man. Sousuke is gay, meaning he only wants his penis in my asshole, not a girl's vagina!"

Sasuke looked at Makoto in a way that would make you wonder why you spent 12 years of your life going to school and said, "Okay, I will tell her that. Although, I bet she figured that out based on the fact that A) you're wearing a speedo, and B): you were with him."

Makoto was clearly offended by Sasuke's words. "For your information, wearing a speedo by default doesn't make you gay. You hardly have room on with what you're wearing. In fact, more people probably thought you were gay over me. And secondly, he could just be a good friend. For shame, nigga, for shame."

"Okay, I'll tell Sakura not to get to close to that pimp Sousuke," promised Sasuke as he went out. He went outside and saw that Sousuke was actually talking to Ino, his natural bulge much larger than Sasuke's. It honestly made Sasuke a bit jealous because he was rather small. He bet he was good at pleasuring Makoto. Sasuke left and then was greeted by Naruto who was still wearing his funny bikini.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" asked Naruto as he looked at the other.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. He doesn't want Sousuke talking to Sakura, but it's okay because Sousuke's gay."

"I talked to Sousuke while you were gone," said Naruto. "He looks intimidating, but he's pretty cool! He's a swimmer and he is good at playing the Roland System 100 synthesizer among many other synthesizers."

"Maybe he could play us a song or too," said Sasuke as he looked at the other. Sasuke then strained and farted really loudly. The gang soon went back to their room and decided to go to the main area and see other people.


	6. Chapter 6

The six of them were all wearing their normal clothes, but Sasuke still had his g-string on underneath his shorts he had on. Man, did this playa get his shorts from the discount bin in Target? You bet your sweet g-string covered hairy asshole he did. Naruto was still wearing his black and orange Bikini and had his hoodie on. He looked liked the kinda person you would see hanging around a Hallmark greeting card store in Annapolis, Maryland. Sakura had on her luxurious sandals that smelled exactly like sandalwood and the sandals were made of wood. She was wearing traditional Japanese clogs with some fishnet stockings with her really cute violet purse and yellow dress. She looked like she was a walking fashion disaster, which is what Ino said.

They soon saw all the people there listening to a song by some new rapper guy and the girls all started to squeal and danced along the hallways. Soon, they arrived to the main part of the cruise ship where all the people were.

"I choose you, Hypno!" said a girl as she threw her Pokeball as if she was trying to join the NBL for people who wore high heels and Michael Kors purses. Soon, the yellow Pokemon appeared out of his ball and swung his kinky pendulum like in the song Izzo.

"HOLY SHIT, THEY HAVE POKEMON BATTLES!" screamed Naruto with delight as he fell to the ground and farted like the time he saved Little Bill and laughed when he saw what their house looked like. They saw that the guy down there was Sousuke. He wasn't wearing his speedo briefs anymore; he was wearing khaki shorts and a nice polo shirt that made his chiseled titties look pretty sexy.

"Go, Venomoth!" commanded Sousuke as he threw out the insect Pokemon. Makoto was watching his man on the sidelines and was hoping that his boyfriend would win the battle so that he could give the other a reason to love him more in the bed.

Sousuke was not afraid of the other, even if the other had a psychic type.

"Prepare to lose, nigga!" said the girl as she closed her eyes. "Hypno, use metronome!" With a finger waggle, Hypno turned the attack into ice beam and fired it towards Venomoth!

"Dodge it and use disable!" ordered Sousuke as he watched his moth Pokemon fly out of the way. The Pokemon's eyes turned a light blue and a the blue aura engulfed Hypno! Hypno was no longer to use the attack and the girl said,

"Use your psybeam!"

Everyone on the girl's side was cheering for her, saying some sort of obscure name that sounded like something you'd see on graffiti in downtown Moscow. Not many people were on Sousuke's side; in fact, it was just Makoto and the six shinobi's who were watching the new acquaintance battle.

"Wow, your boyfriend is doing such a good job!" said Hinata with a queer titter as she watched Sousuke. Practically everyone was daydreaming about Sousuke naked and Hinata had the luxury of seeing this nigga in a speedo. He was so better looking that Sasuke or Chouji, but Hinata loved Chouji for who he was, not what he looked like.

"Sousuke is an amazing Pokemon trainer," commented Makoto who was wearing a pair of gym shorts and a tank top. You could see the outline of his underwear against the fabric of his gym shorts and you could tell that he had a thong on and it was really nice. "He has his faults and shortcomings like everyone does, but he's a good person at the end of the day."

"Sludge bomb!" ordered Sousuke as a huge wad of sludge that looked like it came out of the dumpster of this little Vietnamese restaurant in San Francisco, was hurled at the yellow Pokemon. The girl was unable to get her Pokemon to dodge the attack and Hypno was then poisoned!

"Oh no!" she said with more disappointment in her voice than the time that Chris Tucker realized that Hollywood was not going to hire him for any new ghetto movies because he acted too white. The girl knew that she didn't have much time left and decided to use psychic.

"Counter with your psychic, too!" commanded Yamazaki Sousuke as he had his eyebrows down with determination as he watched his opponent. The two attacks cancelled each other out and the girl commanded Hypno to use mega kick. The attack hit Venomoth, but then Sousuke ordered double edge, and it was enough to defeat the psychic Pokemon.

"Oh, no! I lost!" she cried as she threw 450 yen at Sousuke's face. The nigga put it in his underwear and then turned to Makoto and said,

"What did you think of that battle?"

Makoto nodded at the other and then farted at about 87 decibels; the gang just coughed and ignored it more than the time that Hinata was in a strip club and none of the male dancers paid any attention to her because they thought that she had some creepy psychic powers with those eyes.

"That was fun!" said Naruto. "Let's go look at the exhibits now!" They all agreed to listen to this baboon and they went to a section of the cruise ship that had painting classes. They knew that Sai would love this, but he wasn't here so they moved on.

"You know, I bet Haru would love to be on here," commented Makoto as he put his arm around Sousuke's waist.

"Let's not mention him, shall we?" asked Sousuke. "I mean, we're on a holiday, anyways."

Ino let out a laugh and said to Makoto and Sousuke, "So, where do you guys go to school?"

"We went to two different high schools," corrected Makoto. "I went to Iwatobi..."

"I went to Samezuka," added Sousuke. "We go to a University in Tokyo and won these at a rally in Yokohama."

"Sweet," said Ino as she dug into her bellybutton and smelled the lint. Sakura just moaned. She wondered when they would reach Antarctica and she could look at the penguins.


	7. Chapter 7

Four days had gone by on the cruise ship and a lot of stuff happened. Chouji ate a lot, Sousuke and Makoto wore speedos, and well, it was kinda like a repeat from the first day. The gang was on the pool and all the sudden, an old woman was coming by and she looked at the others. She had a purse that looked like it was made of wicker and it had a pearl handle and she had some big glasses and had on a yellow bath robe.

"Move it, you yutz!" she said as she pushed someone out of the way. "Damn, these niggas are so friggin' annoying." She had a heavy Brooklyn accent and she had a bit of an angry look on her face. She saw all eight of the Japanese people; Sasuke was wearing his g-string again and, well...everyone was wearing the same outfits that they had been wearing and Sasuke went past her.

"Dammit, you need to cover your fucking ass!" said Sophia as she turned away from Sasuke.

"Who are you, old lady?"

"Sophia Petrillo," said the woman. "Why are you wearing that butt floss again? You remind me of Blanche."

"I like the way it feels up there," admitted Sasuke as he turned his ass cheeks towards Sophia. Sophia said,

"That's what she used to say a lot, too. And eww, cover your ass, you fruit cake! I don't want to see your pimple-covered buttcheeks!" She smacked his ass with her purse and all the sudden, Sophia's bathrobe came undone and she was wearing a dark green bikini and halter top that said, "So what? I'm not Mexican".

"Sasuke, did you make a new friend?" asked Sakura as she went over to Sophia. "Wow, you sure are old, lady!"

"And your hair looks like something I use after I eat Mexican food!" snapped Sophia as she farted. "MY ASSHOLE!" she screeched as she felt it rip her anus.

Soon, the other six approached them.

"Who is this?" asked Naruto as he looked at Sophia, the bulge in his bikini near Sophia's face. Sophia had more horror in her eyes than the time that Shikamaru forgot to use a rubber band to hold his hair up and it instead looked like a kiwi instead of a pineapple.

"This is Sophia Petrillo," said Sasuke. "Why are you here, old lady?"

"Look, niggas, gimme 50 feet and I'll tell you a story," said Sophia as she wanted all of these clowns to back up. She cleared her throat and said, "Picture it. Sicily, 1937. A beautiful young teenage girl goes to the store to get her family some milk. Of course, we had a cow, but I had to listen to my mother or she would smack me with a turnip later. So I got some milk and I saw this guy tell me something kinky. He told me that one day, I would see the great white mountains that were coming out of the sea. I said to him, 'Nigga, what the fuck are you talking about?' And he said, 'Look, bitch, I'm saying that if you don't go the place at the very bottom of the world, you will never have the best sex. So of course, I believed what he said. I mean, why would he lie to me? So here I am, at 80, trying to get some of the best sex on here, and I can't find many old dudes. It's nothing but a bunch of college kids!"

Naruto just farted at what he heard and said, "Yeah, that's all cool, I guess." Sousuke looked at the old lady and said,

"You old dummy, why didn't you just go to Argentina or something?"

"You're cramping our style!" said Naruto as he pointed a finger at her. "I mean, you look like you were left in the washing machine for 20 years!"

"Who let your gorilla-looking ass on here, you batchagaloop?" said Sophia as she looked at Naruto with the same kind of look that you see on Calvin Klein when he's looking at a box of tampons. "Your hair looks like someone rearranged a pack of Kraft cheese!"

"That's my boyfriend you're talking about!" screamed as she punched Sophia in the face. Sophia hit Ino with her purse and said,

"I like you guys a lot. Do you wanna hear about my daughter Dorothy who still can't get a date after she took a dump on her former husband?"

"Yeah!" they all said.

"Pictrure it. Miami, 2001. My daughter Dorothy just left her stupid husband after 38 years and she has finally taken control of her life. All of the sudden, this stupid idiot named Stanley Zbornak comes over and my daughter just finished eating a huge taco salad from this great Mexican restaurant. Anyways, this dummy comes over and he's apologizing and crying and doing all of this stupid shit, and my daughter is like, 'Stan, you need to go because I am through with your shit!' And he's like, 'I'm never through with your shit!' So she pulls down her underwear and goes on him right there and I screamed ' _ **EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!**_ "

All eight of them looked at one another and really had nothing to say. Sakura said, "I'm...not sure I wanna be around you anymore."

"I do! I love how your daughter was able to take control of the situation herself!" said Chouji.

"I do, too!" said Hinata. Everyone walked away from Hinata who let out a large fart.

"Let's get in the pool!" said Sophia as she got into the pool while holding her purse. They began to swim and all of the sudden a bolt of lightning fell from the sky and it started to rain. A bolt of lightning hit Hinata and farted as she was struck.

"OWWW! MY BODY AND ASSHOLE!" She screamed. Everyone ran inside and she soon met them and slapped all eight of them. "Why did you do that?!" she asked.

"I don't know!" said Makoto. "I was scared my ass would get struck by lightning!"

They all went back to their rooms.


	8. Chapter 8

Just when everybody thought that the weather couldn't get any better, it did. It was now in the low 90s and the sun was so sexy. Not a single cloud for miles. They were on day four of the cruise and they learned a lot of interesting things about themselves. For example, they learned that Sophia was born in 1922 in Sicily and was born under a bridge that was infested with rotten turnip roots and she literally had no idea where to use the bathroom until she was three. She lived there and traveled to fine restaurants in Italy and at the best places by shaking salt into champagne and saying stuff that the niggas who made the champagne were supposed to have taken off there socks before stomping on them. They would pay for their meal and out of spite, she would have diarrhea in the toilet in the restaurant and not flush it.

She moved to the USA in 1947 with her husband Salvador and they moved to this area in Brooklyn that had prostitutes in the alleyways, litter and garbage on the ground, and sometimes even a few bodies hanging on the lightposts. She started crying as she thought of that place and she had Dorothy in 1947, Gina in 1948, and Phil in 1950, who turned out to be a cross dresser. She later moved to Miami with Dorothy in 1998 and Sophia had a stroke and in the fall of '99 and lived in a place called Shady Pines, a place where they forced you to make lanyards or moccasins by blackmailing you by taking away your tapioca pudding if you didn't.

Makoto and Sousuke were up next and they told their kinky-as-crap story. They grew up in a small town called Iwatobi that was about 30 miles from a place called Tottori, but even Tottori wasn't that huge. They were rivals as they were on different swim teams; Sousuke was originally from a high school in Tokyo, but he moved back to Iwatobi and went to a nearby place called Samezuka and met Makoto's friend which they mutually knew, Rin. Actually, Rin was Sousuke's best friend, but Sousuke got the hots and saw Makoto in his swimsuit and he decided to pursue the other and the other was a bit skeptical, but he nonetheless got to fall in love with Sousuke. They had been dating for five weeks and they didn't regret their decision one bit.

Soon, all nine of them were at the dinner buffet and it was full of people. They were at 9 degrees North and would probably reach Antarctica in about a week if they were lucky. It was very tropical and Sakura was wearing her bikini and Makoto and Sousuke were once again wearing their speedos. At the table, they were sitting, in a clockwise fashion, Sakura, then Sasuke, then Ino, then Naruto, then Hinata, then Chouji, then Sophia, then Sousuke, then Makoto. Makoto was sitting between Sakura and Sousuke. It was lucky they had a table for nine people!

Chouji came back and he had a giant burger that had...macaroni and cheese inside of it.

"Who the hell eats a burger with mac-n-cheese in it?!" asked Sophia as she moved her bamboo purse out of the way. She looked at Chouji who then said,

"I do! And who the hell drinks a cocktail made of prunes, champagne, Sambuca, and has shrimp in it!" demanded Chouji as he looked at her with disdain in his eyes.

"I do! I guess we're even!" said Sophia as she ate her lettuce with cucumber salad. "By the way, do you have any cheese in your titties, because this salad needs some."

"Sophia. Shut up," said Sousuke as he looked at her.

"Why are you wearing those speedos to the dinner table?" asked Sophia as she looked down at Sousuke's body. "It's disgusting!"

"It is not!" said Makoto as he and Sousuke kissed. "Lady, you are being annoying!"

"Shut your monkey ass, Naruto!" said Sakura, causing Naruto to give her a wtf look.

"I didn't say anything, nigga!" he retorted as he scarfed on his fried pineapple spears. "I mean, don't you think you should be the one who shouldn't be talking, considering you stuff your bra with clam shells so your titties can appear larger!"

Sakura gasped and everyone else was laughing except her and Sasuke. "WHO TOLD YOU!" she demanded as she threw a walnut at him.

"I saw you the other day!" admitted Naruto. "So are you going to lie?"

"NO!" said Sakura. "I don't stuff my bra with clam shells! They are oyster shells!"

Chouji had a massive case of the farts and the table was blown away, causing all the food to rain down on them and they all start to catch it.

"Hey, I was eating that pork cutlet!" said Sousuke as he threw an apple that was on Sophia's plate at Chouji. Chouji started crying and ran out of the room faster than the time that he was given a coupon to eat at KFC with just the three pennies in his pocket.


	9. Chapter 9

Three days had passed since the weird incident in the dining room which really left a bitter taste in everyone's eye. They were now at about 26 degrees south and it was getting cooler outside. It was now mostly in the mid 70s in the day time and the activity near the pool was becoming more isolated than the time that Xena the princess warrior was wearing a tuxedo to Danny Devito's party at the bay of Montego without even bringing her amigos that wore speedos. Sakura was at the pool, nonetheless; in fact, the nine of them-she, Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, Chouji, Hinata, Sousuke, Makoto, and Sophia-were the only ones there. Before, there would usually be somewhere along the lines of 35-50 people by the pool, so it was nice that it was significantly less crowded.

Sasuke, who was wearing his dark purple g-string, bent over and let out a fart that was so loud that it caused a huge wave in the pool that splashed out of the water and got on Sousuke's balls. Sousuke was wearing his speedo and was sun tanning and Makoto was doing the exact same thing. The two of them had on their sunglasses and were holding hands and Sousuke lowered his sunglasses and said,

"Are you serious? You've farted like that at least three times today!"

"Look, you speedo jock with a name that sounds almost the same as mine!" said Sasuke! "It's my asshole so I can fart as much as I want and there is nothing that you can do about it!"

The smell began to linger throughout the swimming pool and it sounded like an undiagnosed headache that you got from listening to too much Ludacris and Mariah Carey when you should be listening to stuff like MCR or Whitney Houston. There was no in between in the choices of music.

"Sasuke," said Sakura. "Close your asshole or I will staple it close for you."

As soon as Sasuke heard this, he was super scared and no longer farted. But the string between his asscheeks was enough to make you wish you were blind because you can see some of the pimples that he had gotten on them recently and Sakura had the displeasure of cleaning them for him because he forced her to if she wanted to have anal sex. She was that addicted to it like you wouldn't believe it was a real concern to nobody.

Soon, Naruto came out of the dressing room and he was wearing his orange bikini with nipple pasties, a sight that surely made you want to bleach your eyeballs because it was just as nasty, if not 348 times nastier, than Sasuke's nasty asscheeks. Naruto's nipples, which were thankfully covered, looked like tater tots and they were really bumpy like a pickle that was run over by an airplane that was flying to Stockholm to deliver a hamburger to someone.

This had to be among the best day so far, and Hinata went over to Sophia, who was lying in the sun with sunglasses on, with a mirror. She put the mirror under Sophia's nose and everyone watched her.

"What are you doing?" asked Ino as she looked at the girl who had eyes that looked like mystic pools of cranberry juice and milk mixed together.

"Just checking," said Hinata, but then Sophia regained consciousness and she grabbed the mirror and threw it out into the ocean and said to Hinata,

"That's age discrimination, you dumb bitch!" shouted Sophia as she slapped the other with her purse.

"Oh, sphincters and bikinis!" said Hinata as she got slapped with the purse. Sphincters and bikinis is what she said when was scared or in pain. It lead to some very odd looks in public during certain circumstances. Hinata used a jutsu and she made a bouquet of roses appear. She handed them to Sophia and Sophia showed her toe ring in exchange for the flowers, leading to a very odd conversation.

Sousuke appeared and he slapped the toe ring off of Sophia's foot and said to her, "You need to go to the spa. You smell like windex and expired donuts."

"REally?!" shouted Sophia. "Dang. Well, okay, I'll go to the spa, but they better have a great soap opera playing on the tv when I go in there!" she grabbed her purse and soon made her way to the spa while listening to her favorite Prince cd. The others sighed. Makoto appeared and did a handstand twerk for Sousuke and Sousuke grabbed Makoto's hand and they left the room. PRobably to cut out paper dolls or something boring.

Sasuke turned to Sakura and said, "I wish you could twerk like Makoto."

"But if I do that," she said, "I fear that the oyster shells in my bra will fall out! I don't wanna walk around in public with my small titties!"

Sasuke laughed at her and said, "Look, binocular boobs, I love you regardless of the size of your boobs. You need to stop being so self-conscious about them and just...live your life like you normally should. Stop obsessing about what other people will think or say about your boobs, even if they are smaller than those on a salmon."

"Salmon are fish; they don't have breasts," said Sakura.

"I know," said Sasuke. He cracked his knuckles and looked at the sky. It was enough to make you wish that there was a tornado forming.


	10. Chapter 10

It was now a long-ass time since the group had left Japan and as part of their cruise, they were going to stop off in Australia for a few hours, specifically at Sydney so that they could take a shit with a boomerang they got at a gift shop.

"Look at all these kiwis!" said Sophia as she was at a fruit stand and looking at the fruit.

"This isn't New Zealand," said Sakura, since she thought the other was using a derogatory term to address the Australians.

"Bitch, I'm talking about the fucking fruit, you pepto bismal wig ho!" said Sophia as she threw a watermelon at Sakura, but thanks to Sakura's quick dodging, she ducked and it hit Sousuke in the penis.

"Dammit, bitch, I'ma slap those chained glasses off yo ancient face if Sousuke can't bust a nut in me!" declared Makoto with anger as he walked over to Sophia with an angry expression on his face. He was really made that the other was hurt and said to Sousuke, "How are you feeling, Sousuke?" He watched the other hold onto his crotch in pain and Sousuke said,

"I'll be fine, babe."

Hinata was looking at the kangaroo stickers that she would put on her asscrack so that Chouji would have to find them later once they were back in their own room on the ship. The gang soon went to a restaurant and had watercress sandwiches and shrimp straight from the barbie. Chouji, of course, belched so loudly that there was no telling what else he ate when he wasn't in the sight of the others. He probably ate an omelette made from 7 emu eggs and is on the risk of having tremendous sulphuric farts.

They all got on the cruise ship three hours later and they soon began heading east-southeast. They were heading for Ushuaia, the southernmost "major" city of about 60k people. Luckily, Sophia, who lived in Miami, spoke Spanish.

They were at about 44 degrees South and it was getting chilly now. Temperatures were mostly about 16 C in the daytime and around 8 C at night, so of course Sakura had to upgrade her thong to a bikini. Nobody was using the pool anymore since they were afraid of getting their toes frostbitten, so the mass of people mostly stayed inside or just sat outside on the benches or chairs looking out into the vast ocean that was ahead of them. It was so kinky to feel the nice wind on their body hair, especially Hinata.

Ino came over to Naruto and she spanked his elbow with her ponytail.

"Bitch, don't you think this is the best cruise ever?" she asked her man.

The guy with sliced cheese for hair said, "How many cruises have you been on to compare?"

"Four," she said.

"Bitch, I do NOT wanna hear about it," he said as he threw a piece of earwax into the ocean and watched as a manta ray got it. "I'm so glad to be out of school. Seems kinda weird, though, this cruise. I just feel like there is some sorta...draw back? I don't know." He clutched to his balls tightly. His Pokeballs, of course. No way in the first syllable of Finland's capital was someone gonna steal his Ditto and Onix. He loved them so much and he didn't know what he was going to do should anyone take them from his beloved ass.

Ino was a bit worried, too. She grabbed onto her boob with her left knuckle and began to stroke the hairs that surrounded her nipples. She had some very thick nipples, too and she wanted to make sure that Naruto was satisfied with them like the next customer at a KFC buffet in Kansas City, as opposed to someone who was working at the dairy aisle in Kroger.

A loud fart came by their ears, and sure enough, it was Sakura.

"Hey, bitch," she said as she slapped Ino on the forehead. "How the hell are you?"

"I'm fine," said Sophia as she was clutching onto her bamboo purse full of Icelandic secrets that not even the mayor of Reykjavik knew.

"Was she talking to you, saggy pussy lip ho?" said Sousuke who was wearing a pair of blue jeans, a green sweater, and a red jacket.

"Don't you dare insult me like that, faggot," Sophia remarked as she hit Naruto with her purse.

"Old ho, get your eyes checked!" said Ino as she pushed Sophia towards the railing. "Don't make us push you off and let the whale sharks eat you for dinner."

Chouji came out of nowhere and stole Sophia's purse and began laughing as hard as he could. "Stop him!" demanded Sophia.

They all caught up to Chouji and got the purse back and handed it to her. "Dumb weirdos, I'm going to my room now."

"Me, too," said everyone as they retreated to their cabins.


End file.
